
Labels: My Voice 我の声音, 我的成长教室
Date: 21 Nov 2007 Wed + Time: 12.01am + Place: Neighbour's Hostel + Position: Bed
Spread: Celtic Spread
1) 9 of Swords
2) 7 of Cups
3) Knight of Wands (Reversed)
4) 6 0f Swords
5) 5 of Swords
6) The Hermit
7) 9 of Pentacles (Reversed)
8) 6 of Pentacles (Reversed)
9) 8 of Wands
10) 10 of Cups (Reversed)
It has been a long time since I last took them out for serious reading. Couldn't sleep so got up and brought the cards out. Glad that it has made my night calmer and my view clearer. When no one else is in the right position to help, they are always there to aid me. *__* And thanks to lijuan who lent me her room cuz my roomie was already asleep and I couldn't read them in the dark. Thanks.
*Cantonese song. Labels: My Voice 我の声音
SICK-KEN-NING.
Sickening. This is SICK-KEN-NING.
I just sold myself again. To the same company that caused my unhappiness for the first 7 months of the year. I am stupid, I admit. But I need money. So I'll start work the day after my last paper, work through my holidays till the start of school (27 Nov last paper - 28 Nov start job - 5 Jan end job).
People, I have asked for leave in advance, so 1st of December will be my only leave day in the whole month. If you want to book me, only the time slots after 2pm will be available. The 1st half of the day will be koped by cmh and kbox (as promised).
And as for our annual xmas celebration... Shall see. May not be able to turn up cuz I need to work on Saturdays. I'll have to apologise in advance.
I HATE MONEY BECAUSE IT MAKES ME CHEAP.
It always make me do what I don't want to do, but it always succeed in doing so.
I AM PATHETICALLY CHEAP. AARGH. VEXED.
卖身契
God, this world is seriously going CRAZY. I repeat: CRAZY. Let me enjoy a few more years of meat, then I'll go vegetarian and hairless for the rest of my life. I don't give a damn anymore. DUH. STRESSED: The wrong person doing everything and the right person not doing anything. This is SO PATHETIC. PER-THEAR-TIC. BLEAH. SO SHIT THEM ALL! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE! AAHHHHHH!!!!! Don't know how to take it, don't know where to go Labels: My Voice 我の声音, 让眼睛和耳朵去旅游
Can there ever be a more appropriate song than this one?
I must thank ABBA with ALL MY HEART. I repeat: ALL OF MY HEART.
It's like they KNOW. It's like they know every single thing. Every word is SO TRUE.
My resistance running low
And every day the hold is getting tighter and it troubles me so
(You know that I'm nobody's fool)
I'm nobody's fool and yet it's clear to meI don't have a strategy
It's just like taking candy from a baby and I think I must be
Under attack, I'm being taken
About to crack, defences breaking
Won't somebody please have a heart
Come and rescue me now cause I'm falling apart
Under attack, I'm taking cover
He's on my track, my chasing lover
Thinking nothing's gonna stop him now
Should I want to, I'm not sure, I would know how
This is getting crazy, I should tell him so
Really let my anger show
Pursuade him that the answer to his question is a definite no
Guess I'm kinda flattered but I'm scared as well
Something like a magic spell
I hardly dare to think of what would happen, where I'd be if I fell
加油!加油!加油! Labels: My Voice 我の声音
My sister finished her O'levels exams today! Called her during dinner to say congratulations... She seemed really relieved and excited and heck cared about everything else apart from relaxation liao. Haha!~
She sent me this song after her dinner. Was very touched as I listened and kena shocked by the bombardment of that two words which attacked my ears while I was trying to study my 古文。Lol~ I kept looping it and blasted it on the earphones! Hahaha~ Thanks a million to my best mei mei! (Although she forgot that I am her sister, not brother aka “好男儿”。)
Here's sharing it with all of you. Gambatte!
YAY! YAY! YAY! WOO! WOO! WOO!
H-E-R-O 我们一起加油!
Labels: My Voice 我の声音, 让眼睛和耳朵去旅游
扬眉 - 杨千桦
给我蓝天白云 我把他当棉被 不要谁来陪
给我一个约会 回忆属于我的 我不属于谁
送我一座堡垒 我只拿来点缀 不要谁来陪
送我一个亲吻 温度属于我的 我不属于谁
谁属于我无所谓 吐气扬眉 一个人一样能向前飞
不怕天花乱坠 我就是我自己的绝配
我还再寻找我的十全十美
我会是谁眼中的十全十美
给我一段感情 我只要能体会 就没有浪费
给我一杯咖啡 味道曾经浓烈 就难能可贵
送我遍地玫瑰 我只要那香味 就没有浪费
送我一道彩虹 颜色曾经难忘 就难能可贵
谁属于我 无所谓
反正我都无所谓 我不懂后悔
Labels: My Voice 我の声音, 真的是无聊到~
There's an obvious reason why this is funny.
There is a reason why this is not funny too.
Somehow there's a stinging truth lingering behind this whole plot,
waiting to be unveiled.
但是却总是搞不懂这一切到底是追求还是逃避? Labels: My Voice 我の声音
最近的睡法都是昏睡;是在完全把体力、精力用尽后爬上床,瞬间不省人事的那种。
连续赶了HW101C的portfolio和HC201先秦两汉魏晋文学的期末报告。上个星期六凌晨四点宣告lowbatt,还好已经把portfolio赶完了。今天则是清晨五点用那仅剩的力气把自己拖下椅子爬向床去晕倒。就这样满脑子嵇康、《广陵散》,睡着了。
前天比较不一样,十二点多就上床去休息了,可是却翻来覆去的,直到一个钟头后才能入睡。脑子里满满,battery里空空,很不好受。
好像是在逆光:星星、月亮、太阳的光。像是逆着光阴不停的奔跑。
现在还有一个2000字报告得完成……这么下去我的身体迟早会垮。
也好。
Labels: My Voice 我の声音, 我的成长教室, 让眼睛和耳朵去旅游
Labels: My Voice 我の声音, 我的成长教室
THE TAROT'S DEATH CARD, key #13 of the Major Arcana, does not mean physical death. Rather, the Death card portrays symbolic death-a change or transformation. Often, it heralds the end of a familiar or more comfortable mode. It conveys a release which is necessary for growth and expansion. Perhaps it even brings a whole new set of principles which will guide you spiritually, emotionally, psychologically or financially. Joseph Campbell, author of A Hero with A Thousand Faces, describes times of personal change as periods when "The familiar life horizon has been outgrown; the old concepts, ideals, and emotional patterns no longer fit; the time for the passing of a threshold is at hand." The sunrise depicted in the background of the Death card holds the promise of the transformation which is about to take place: the death of the old self, but also the dawning of a new day. The Death card is a cue that you are at a "threshold"-a crossing into a new phase, unbounded by the past.
If you are casting the cards in a Tarot reading for another person, as a sensitive reader, you should always address this card immediately when it appears in a reading, and then go back to the rest of the reading. The "Seeker" (who is receiving the reading) should be reassured that the "death" being depicted here is symbolic and transformational, not literal. You might even encourage the individual to discuss his or her reactions to the card, relating it to events that may be occurring in his or her life. The white rose which the Death figures holds is the symbol of rebirth. It also portrays the mystery which surrounds death and transformation. Since there is no Tarot card that specifically portrays birth, we may wonder: Is the Death card really the birth card? The cycles of life, especially birth and death are mysterious and paradoxical. Such mystery is embedded in the Tarot's system. It is meant to challenge you and allow you to explore the meaning of life on a deeper level and from a broader perspective.
When this card appears in your reading, it may be an invitation to embrace change and transformation, especially as it refers to your consciousness or past lifestyle. As such, it represents the quintessential example of "letting go." It's appearance may encourage you as you are clearing out the old and making way for the new. You can even meditate on the Death card in a creative visualization process, allowing its potent imagery to infuse your unconscious with its implied invitation to trust the process of transformation and release. The Death card can assist you in dissolving any negative forces which, knowingly or unknowingly, have taken root in your unconscious mind.
At other times, the Death card may appear in your reading when there are changes which you know you need to make but which you are resisting. The potent Death imagery may serve to remind you that the more you hate something and the more you run from it, the more you are bound to it. You are caught by that which you seek to avoid. Resistance leads to persistence and sometimes that resistance to a problem or situation may actually help to maintain it. The Death card may help you to release resistance. As the symbolism makes contact with your deep mind, it retrieves the more elevated doctrine that shows the meaning of death in a broader context. You can never know what miracles, what healing, what insight or growth might come to you through the difficult times of your life and as you face life's challenges. It is likely that the Spirit flowing through your periods of change or difficulty will bring an expanded life, a greater self or a greater good. The symbolic death that follows may allow you to move forward. For example, perhaps you are holding onto friendships that are no longer supportive or nurturing. Perhaps your career or job is no longer satisfying. The Death card's appearance in your reading may be inviting you to deliberately address the issues at hand regarding these changes. Perhaps Death asks, "Is it time to let go and move on? Can you trust that some greater good will come to you as you surrender to the change?"
It can be one of life's greatest challenges to know when it is time to let go and allow "death" to claim whatever is being embraced. Meditation on the Death card may allow you to discern if, and when, it is time to let go, to mourn and grieve if necessary, and prepares you to be open to whatever is next. The Death card may guide you through a loss or sorrow so that you will not dwell on it excessively.
If you are in the midst of a difficult life challenge, the Death card may also represent the process of spiritual purification in which you gain a deeper understanding of the love of a higher force. That is, often during times of adversity, you may be called to turn to a higher force to guide and sustain you. The Death card challenges you to expand your spiritual beliefs, allowing more of Spirit to touch and heal you. It also holds great hope-the hope that you can start over, embark on a new journey. As we are purged of the old, we are lighter, more receptive-we are freed of the past, ready to start on a new course.
The darkness of winter is upon us; we have pause to contemplate death's message. As we hunker down into the chill, Nature reminds us that death is part of the cycle of life. All the signs of winter, the bare trees, the raw cold, the barren terrain may keep our spirits at bay. But we can keep Death's emblem of transformation in our hearts, allowing it to remind us that there is a sunrise in the horizon and it holds the promise of a new dawn.
Labels: My Voice 我の声音
政治无所不在。
最近在老大的课上讨论了张爱琳的名著《倾城之恋》,提到了范柳原最喜欢的女生类型:会低头的标准“中国女人”-- 流苏。范柳原最疼爱的流苏常爱低头,但她并非泛泛之辈,女性刚强、坚强都能在她身上看到。
Therefore,以HC101所学到的知识来说,“低头”的意识形态 is not equivalent to ‘弱’。 (大家不要上有意装可怜的奸人的当哦。)
当一个人宣布“我是不会低头的!”的时候,不管是在什么context中表现的都是造反、不肯被残暴的authority控制的意念。有些人哪,我真是看不下去:总是说一些虚无飘渺的谎话,小心眼儿地一厢情愿认为上层永远都是针对她的。而且还不断使奸计坏事,不然更心狠手辣,干脆什么分内的事都不做,只顾得带着那张虚伪的笑脸面具怂恿无辜的同事听信流言蜚语。搞得原本团结一致的团体四分五裂之后仍不肯罢休,一心非要把别人弄得八分九裂。
Anti-authority的人多的是,但没有见过一个心机如此沉重的年轻人。别人当总管她不爱,给她任务完成却又心有内鬼,只想报仇。(到底别人对不起她什么?没人知道。一直以来都是她在胡乱“自怜”,夸大是非,诽谤他人。最受不了明明是自己搞政治策略还冤枉是别人在筹谋。恶人先告状。人家都劝说了,还是不改正。So arrogant and yet ignorant. Sad case.)
如果连“服从”这点小事都不会,你还能做什么?更别想造反了。
Anyway,服从的对立不是造反。So, wake up and stop all those preparation, my dear.
继续这样吧,显露出你幼稚和狭窄的心胸。(就是因为有像你这种人,厚黑学才会出现)
我想看看在没有人把你的头按下的状况下,你能怎样“不低头”。
Well,说了谎话就得圆谎话啊。老师没教你吗?Hmm,也对。老师根本都没教你说谎嘛,怎么会教你圆谎咧?
Opps. Never mind, never mind.
Take your time, 我会拉张沙发过来,翘脚吃popcorn。不屑。
P.S. 各位读者,本人并非在耍mean。只是心中不满,有感而发罢了。再次用HC101的theory:“作者已死”,读者要怎么interpret就怎么interpret,只要不要断章取义,put words into my mouth 就可以了。 多谢多谢。
Labels: My Voice 我の声音
最近很爱干坏事,而且都是干那些从来没接触过的坏事。
昨晚就是这样,结果弄得自己头痛,一直到今早五点才能够睡着。讲堂课早上8点半,我瘫在宿舍的床上,不省人事。迷迷糊糊打了电话跟老婆说我CMI,然后继续昏睡。
一个人睡觉很没有安全感啊!呜~~ 而且没有人催我起床上课!(思敏的好~ T_T)
这两天一直在下雨,结果衣服干不了,没裤子穿了。今天穿了全黑去上课:刚烫好的古筝Polo-tee,超短的裤裤(就睡觉穿的那件咯),拖鞋(就穿去冲凉的那双咯)。在LT1A呆个六钟头,快冻死了~ 呜呜呜~
讨厌!
最近进入“麦来乱”mood。一再重播“麦来乱mood”的playlist。 今天晚上思敏应该不会回来了吧,“麦来mood” playlist准备陪我一晚!
思敏今早又接到父母的电话,过后就像昨天下午那样,打了电话叫计程车到医院去。本来还在赖床的我听到了她在和父母通话的内容,也没心情继续睡下去了,于是起来刷了牙就陪她下楼等计程车。看到之前她匆匆忙忙准备着离开宿舍,眼眶湿了,声音也变了,却仍死忍着故作镇定,心很痛。我是第一次看到平时镇定到不行的思敏一边收拾东西,一边哽咽,慌了却又坚持撑着,还跟我说“我都不知道现在要做什么。我都不知道现在我在做什么。”
她是知道这一切是在预料之中的,可是当消息来时,我想在她心里的某个小角落中,她还是不想接受事实的。
会痛。会想哭。很想就抱着她,跟她说些安慰的话,可是我怕她反而会撑不住。所以只让我的princess抱了抱她,就一起下楼了。
我不能做什么。只是揉了揉她的肩膀,在旁安静的说着一些“有什么需要的,sms 我。我帮你搞定。”的话,就送她上计程车了。
我真的好像是她的男朋友。发觉越是亲近的人,越是难表达一些感情。所以彼此也没说什么,靠着沉默中的默契沟通,彼此心里明白就好。
加油。
Labels: My Voice 我の声音
麦来乱 - 五月天 眼泪咸 哭到眼泪不咸 过一天痛一天 一天亲像一冬 过一冬 你又找阮开讲 你说你 你想我 我的一冬拢无采工 最怕你讲你犹原思念 搁再给阮希望 最怕你说你爱我 心搁破洞我搁山崩 电话我也不接 找我我也不睬 麦来乱无缘的人 麦搁来乱去爱别人 真感谢 感谢你的陪伴 自屏东到基隆 走过这多美梦 梦醒了 咱是无缘的人 拜托你麦回头 麦搁问我目眶怎红 为怎样我奈这白目我奈这饭桶啊 明知影你是这危险啊搁学不会闪 放着你甲我的青春甲我的生活 拢拆吃入腹 [麦来乱!麦来乱!麦来乱!麦来乱!麦来乱!>_<] Labels: My Voice 我の声音
Labels: My Voice 我の声音
把自己放在最想逃避的局面,然后把负担加重,尝试以嬉皮笑脸应付眼前的一切。
原来在重重压力下,我撒谎的功夫,演戏的能力会比平时更好。
逃避不是办法,但对我来说,面对也没好到哪去。
专心读书是最好的方案,对我来说。
不要过来啊!玩你罢了!
太过感性的人,远离!
不要让我再错下去!
滚开!滚开!
啧!
不想要的一再出现,想要的却得不到。 另一端正追得紧,这一端却只能沦陷在自己的挣扎中。 眼看很快就被后面的人追到了,怎么办?我不要!!~~ :: 读书、读书 :: Labels: My Voice 我の声音
Some things are indeed easier said than done.
Maybe I just lacked courage. And the right to fight for what I yearn.
Longer friendship than me. Better looking than me. More bubbly than me. More talented than me. More kind-hearted than me. More devoted than me. More committed than me. More compatible than me. More deserving than me.
It is almost impossible for me to fight for it when someone so close to me is fighting for that same thing, side by side with me. I would rather give it up. These few years had been a complete disaster. I would not have given up so many things that would have been mine if not for this senseless race.
Quoting my dear friend, "It's not good to know nothing. But it's bad to know everything."
With so many things to be given up along the way of drowning in this profession, being a doctor is so tough.
Labels: My Voice 我の声音
以下是本人今天在LT1A快发狂前所写的一段文字:
“每个星期三下午的LT1A都是野餐谈天的好地方。TCM的讲堂课总是不能好好地上!
三个女人=一个巴刹。LT1A里上TCM课的人当中到底有几个女人,几个菜市场?听听这杂音--可想而知啊!再加上那些配角(男生们)……天啊~这堂中医课未免太热闹了吧!?
看着一包包的麦当劳Value meals飘进来,老师也没说什么。可咱们大学生没礼貌哪!尽然还边吃边谈天!还以为已经脱离了初级学院的那堆缺乏公德心的烂同学(都是那些一起上地理讲堂课的阿嫂们),哪知道来了新一批的麻烦同学……唉~”
累啊!早上8.30am的课一直上到7.30pm。早上在上课之前打包了Kaya toast 在路上边走边吃,喝了几口水。下课后吃了CanA的红烧肉汤面,喝了几口白开水。然后就到HSS Library 去找期末报告的资料(《广陵散》的诡异典故,稽康的创作)。刚在LT1A上了连续不断六小时的Lectures,看了无数的powerpoint slides,看了关于Malaria的片子(genes' lecture),在昏昏欲睡的状态中做了几十题中医练习题;在冷得发抖的讲堂里偷吃冰冰的MacFlurry,过后又吃了三文治。刚刚下课,在CanA吃了菜饭(最近发现在菜饭摊排队的几乎都是男生),喝了超好喝的木瓜牛奶。
睡醒-吃-读书-吃-读书-睡觉。
Eat sleep shit study.
人在江湖,身不由己!
Labels: My Voice 我の声音
一个钟头前懒洋洋的从床上爬起来,开启了电脑,开始做各位同学部落格的文本细读,边吃饭(我的早餐是菜饭+鲜牛奶!)边分析着文本与文本之间的关系。评论、留言、诗歌、充满感情的文章……越看越起劲!发觉朋友之间的部落格的互文性都很强,尤其是比较亲近的一些同学们,他们对同样一件事或八卦的发展与迟疑都在各自的部落格和评论板上表现得一览无遗。
多数的同学看了朋友的部落格,给他们留言,为他们加油。
有些同学看了朋友的部落格,开始对他们之间的友谊起了疑惑,于是在自己的部落格上猛给暗示,希望一切并不是自己想的那么多、那么复杂。反而是那个之前在自己的网上乱写一统心理感情世界的朋友,竟然以为是对方无中生有,而且完全没有想到他就是让那个同学烦恼的原因!真是可笑!站在高处看大家玩游戏,心里虽然有些不爽(怎么没有让我一起玩?),但瞧着傻头傻脑的一群菜鸟沦陷在自己的感情世界里,跌跌撞撞的,还真有些好笑。这可不是我坏心眼儿啊!只是看到大家被自己弄得团团转的样子,不得不觉得莫名其妙。
原本简单易懂的事,读文科的同学们好像都很喜欢把东西复杂化,加进太多的感情(可能是因为还不知道怎么拿捏好),想得太多。我很讨厌看那些超EMO的部落格。老公SiQi应该知道吧!我们俩就是因为这个原因认识的(以前她的部落格也是很EMO)!现在的SiQi已经好很多很多了。真为她高兴哪!
偶尔EMO是OK啦,只是不停的UP-DOWN-UP-DOWN好像王八股票那样,让读者看了就烦。久而久之也懒得再看这些充满EMO-ness的无聊作品了。那些能够走在时髦尖端,但还是会对过去的一切美好怀念的部落格entries当然会比较吸引人。能在过去与未来之间、烦闷与快乐之间取得平衡的搏客们--了不起啊!
It's good to learn how to make fun of everything in this world~ Chill~
Labels: My Voice 我の声音
I returned to my hall in Weilin's car after the orchestra practice tonight but still kena 'attacked' by the rain when I tried to chiong out of the car to the hall's sheltered pathway. Everyone spent so much time in the music room practising that no one really realised how heavy the rain got since we started drowning ourselves in music indoors. This is the irresistable power of music!
I just checked the 3-day oulook of Singapore's weather... 3 upcoming mornings of thunderstorms sia. My sister started her O'levels today (Monday) and I guess wet weather isn't going to help much in lifting her mood when she has morning papers lor... Really hope she can make it for these major exams! >_< And for readers who have to wake up early in the mornings to either work or to go for class, remember to set more alarms~ This is a great weather to hug my darling (sweet lollipop baby) and ZzzZZzzz... Hohoho~
Had been having dreams-filled nights these few weeks. I finally came to a conclusion that it must be stress cluttering up my mind with useless worry and unfinished tasks when I woke up from a nightmare a few nights ago. (Anyway my morning alarm didn't ring today, but luckily the neighbours living opposite my block woke me up with their excited shrieks and screams, cuz they were trying to catch some poor lizard which accidentally got into one of their rooms. Damn boliao lor those girls. Guess they didn't realise that the more they scream, the more the lizard would want to escape, and thus the more time and effort they would have to spend capturing the runaway lizard. Poor lizard -- think it's deaf now.)
The craft of writing module taught us how to unclutter our writing and improve on the coherence and cohesion in our literary works in the previous tutorials. So I must apply them here, so as to prove that this module is not that useless (for us Chinese students) afterall:
THINGS ON MY MIND NOW (Process of uncluttering):
1) HC101's 2000-word essay
2) HC201's 1000-word essay
3) Chinese Orchestra performance this Sunday
4) HW101C Portfolio due next Monday
5) Practice of Past-year exam papers for Genes module
6) Complete all tutorials O.o
7) EXAMINATIONS IN 3 WEEKS' TIME
Ok, fine. This is so unsettling.
Well, I should learn to be more optimistic. Going to work hard and try to observe "something good in everything I see". We can take the future even if we fail!~ Hehhehheh.~
Gambatte!~ JIAYOU EVERYONE! PIA! CHIONG ARH!
Labels: My Voice 我の声音, 让眼睛和耳朵去旅游
赌神 - 五月天 Labels: My Voice 我の声音, 让眼睛和耳朵去旅游
( 狮子山下一间破屋发现了沉睡的一个的箱子 一笔天文数字 一本斑驳传奇)
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