Ah Beng examines the puzzle and says, " Kan ni na, put back the corn flakes into the box, lah." Although read b4 long time ago, itx still hao xiao! Labels: 真的是无聊到~TALKINGCOCKAh Beng's Job Interview (Contributed by Wyman Lye)
Ah Beng went for an job interview for a sales job. When the manager saw Ah Beng's colourful attire, his mind screamed, "Not this man!!"Nevertheless he still had to entertain Ah Beng. So he told Ah Beng, "If you can form a sentence using the words I give you, then I will give you a chance!""The words are "Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, Black".
Ah Beng thought for a while and said "I heard the phone go green, green, and then I went to pink up the phone and said Yellow. Blue's that? White did you say? Aiyah, wrong number. Don't purplely disturb people and don't call Black, ok?"
Ah Beng got the job.Now I see the big picture (Contributed by Have Cock Will Travel)
Ah Lian (L) called Ah Beng (B) over the telephone.
L: " Beng, I can't get my new jig saw puzzle fixed, mah-chiam all the edges cannot fix together, leh."
B: " Jig saw puzzle si mi picture, ha?"
L: " The box show a big rooster, kanna like the one in talkingcock.com ".
B: "Okay, lah, okay, lah. I come over to hepchu, lah."
Ah Beng arrives at Ah Lian's place, where she happily leads him to the kitchen table where the jigsaw puzzle is. Totally Defenceless
Two Hokkien pengs, Ah Beng and Ah Seng, got promoted from privates to corporals.
Not long after, they're out for a walk and Ah Beng says, "Eh, Seng ah, there's the NCO Club. Let's go inside and togo."
"But we all is plivate only, mah," protests Ah Seng.
"No, we all is copler now," says Ah Beng, pulling him inside. Once inside the pub, Ah Beng says, "Okay, let's order some beer and togo!"
"But we all is plivate!" says Ah Seng."Piang eh, you cannot see, meh?" says Ah Beng, pointing to his stripes. "We all is copler now!"
After leaving the NCO club, Ah Beng and Ah Seng go to Geylang.
There, Ah Beng whistles at a hooker, but the hooker says, "Sorry, hor. Tonight cannot because I got gonorrhea."
Ah Beng pulls Ah Seng to the side and say, "Eh, you go and check the dictionary and see what 'gonorrhea' means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign.
"Ah Seng goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Ah Beng a big thumbs-up.Three weeks later, Ah Beng is in the hospital with a severe case of gonorrhea.
"Ni na beh," he scolds Ah Seng. "Why you tell me it's okay?"
"Not my fault!" says Ah Seng. "In the dictionary, it says gonorrhea affects the privates."Then he points to his stripes: "But we is copler now, mah!"Can Die (Contributed by Setzer)
There was this case in a hospital's intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and always on Friday mornings, regardless of their medical conditions. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had to do with the supernatural.
So the doctors decided to go down to that particular ward to investigate the cause. Come Friday morning, everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the terrible phenomenon to occur again. Some held wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil.... As the time approached, their hearts began beating anxiously, and with every beat of the clock, everyone held their breath........ ....
Then Ah Soh, the part-time Friday cleaner, came into the room and unplugged the life support system so that she could use the vacuum cleaner.
DOTX MAN, can really die sia!~
Thanks to TALKINGCOCK.COM and its wonderful Chio Kao Bank. ENJOY!
Labels: 真的是无聊到~烦恼远离我！一切打回原形！
Laughed my ass off. And I feel happier!
Doing aerobics at night. Lol! And caijing was making it worse by trying to imitate his exercises. Labels: 真的是无聊到~GOONG
Okok. This is really the last post. Just want to prove how Goong S is making a fool of itself.
This is the difference between the quality of the original Goong and the sequel Goong S. Enjoy!
Seems like zwei is pretty furious about F.I.R. singing their song without giving obvious credit to them. Hear them sing "NO FAKE! NO FAKE! NO FAKE!~"FOREVER GREEN V.S. FAKE FACE
F.I.R. (台湾：飞儿乐团 2007) V.S. ZWEI (JROCK BAND 2005)
就好像如果你丢个炸弹过来，我会趁它还没爆炸的那瞬间把它拾起来丢回给你一样！ Labels: 真的是无聊到~当十二星座收到诅咒信
O.o 真的好准……
（还有我家里的那2白羊和1金牛也是会像以下所说的那样反应。）
水瓶座：
真的会遭到不幸喔？我来试验一下，通通寄还给你……
一时好玩害死人不偿命指数：十颗星 X_X
白羊座：
回信骂他个狗血淋头、拒看、封锁、样样来……
凶恶指数：十颗星
金牛座：
咦？我没看过这个人啊？大家都说不认识的寄信来最好不要开，直接就给他删了……这人真无聊，有空写这个不去多赚一点钱……
实际指数：十颗星
双子座：
立刻的删个精光，反正兵来将挡，水来土掩，我的未来跟一封无聊信有何关联？
潇洒指数：十颗星
巨蟹座：
呜，好可怜啊，这个人从小一定缺乏母爱，才会变成今天疯疯癫癫的相信这种诅咒信，寄个温馨小语给你吧……
体谅众生指数：十颗星
狮子座：
敢找本王的麻烦？！来人啊！把他的信箱塞到爆炸！招一堆兄弟来狂回寄给那位仁兄……
人皇威力指数：十颗星
处女座
哼，这就是所谓的垃圾邮件吧……房子都要清不完了，连伊媚儿也要给我搞乱，送个十封回敬你……
爱护整洁指数：十颗星
天秤座
难为他了，这人心理一定不平衡了，维持网路礼貌别跟这种人吵吧，忧国忧民一阵子后删掉他，继续看别的信封。
热爱和平指数：十颗星
天蝎座
回寄附加病毒信件……杀死它整台电脑，让他非换新不可……把他的信箱PO到网上恶搞……
复仇指数：十颗星
射手座
射手不是出去玩就是趴网站……喔？这就是诅咒信啊？目前我看过的诅咒信有一万三千七百八十六个版本……然后你是第九千五百九十九个版本……我早就看过了，换点新鲜的吧……
让人无言指数：十颗星
摩羯座
常常整理信箱的羯羯会自言自语如下：嗯这是家人寄来的……嗯这是朋友寄来的……嗯这个是经理寄来的……嗯这个是主管寄来的……嗯这个不知道是谁寄来的……不知不觉就把诅咒信删掉了……
超有效率指数：十颗星
双鱼座
太过分了！我跟你无冤无仇跑来诅咒我！之后鱼鱼想到伤心事，就回寄个十几封给寄件人，寄到人家跪地求饶……
长期缠功指数：十颗星
Labels: My Voice 我の声音, 真的是无聊到~REASON
There's an obvious reason why this is funny.
There is a reason why this is not funny too.
Somehow there's a stinging truth lingering behind this whole plot,
waiting to be unveiled.
~第一堂和最后一堂课的白板字迹~ 啦啦啦~ 精卫说：我填； 夸父说：我追； 后羿说：我射； 嫦娥说：没射着！ 黄帝说：我们做什么； 启说：让他们球！ 桀说：好玩； 汤说：造反有理了； 始皇说：我修； 姜女说：我哭； 陈胜说：有种； 项羽说：我举； 刘邦说：我斩； Labels: 真的是无聊到~逗号
终于上完了所有先秦两汉魏晋文学的课咯！不舍+开心+感动。
好像已经对文史上了瘾！
盘古说：我开； 女娲说：我补； 共工说：我撞； 神农说：我尝；
尧说：我让； 舜说：我也让； 禹说：咱爷们怎么办？
夏亡了……
纣说：痛快； 武王说：我也反了；
商亡了……
幽王说：点火； 褒姒说：刺激；
周也亡了……
干将说：我铸； 专诸说：我舞； 荆柯说：我刺； 赢政一躲：没刺着……
秦亡了……
孔子说：我仁； 孟子说：我义； 老子说：我无为； 庄子说：我逍遥；
韩非子说：把他们全抓了。；张良说：我出谋划策； 韩信说：我统帅三军；
萧何说：无运筹帷幄； 高祖说：老婆，怎么办； 吕后说：全喀嚓了。；
文景说：我治； 武帝说：我兴； 光武说：我中兴； 献帝说：我说了不算。
张骞说：我通； 班超说：我也通； 苏武说：通个屁！；卫青说：我打；
霍去病说：我也打； 李广说：我还打；
昭君嫣然晕笑，遂天下太平。
董卓说：我势大； 吕布说：我人帅； 貂婵说：你们俩谁厉害。
董卓完蛋了。
曹操说：快帮我脱鞋迎老许； 刘备说：快给我牵驴来访诸葛；
孙权说：周郎自有妙计安天下； 周瑜说：加油，烧死老曹；
诸葛说：天下三分，人人有份； 司马昭说：向刘备同志学习；
晋开始了。
司马迁说：要想成功，不怕被宫； 班固说：我要出书；
司马相如说：一首赋稿费一千； 曹操说：抄家伙我要赋诗；
曹植说：命题作文有何难； 孔明说：我要写道动员令；
陶潜说：你们累不累呀。 遂卷铺盖回家了。
朱温说：我同花顺； 萧道成说：我一条顺； 陈霸先说：重新洗牌……
杨广说：去扬州观花； 李渊说：消来公费旅游；
李世民说：魏征，你的意思； 李治说：老婆，你的意思；
武则天说：那还不如我说了算； 薛刚说：反了你了！
骆宾王说：鹅肥； 王勃说：情深； 李白说：酒美； 王维说：景幽；
孟浩然说：风流； 杜甫说：屋漏； 白居易说：抱想琵琶唱OK；
李商隐：我没话说了。
柴荣说：三武废费有我一份； 赵匡胤说：今年流行黄袍子
寇准说：带上瓶醋谈判去； 李刚说：保家卫国； 徽宗说：没保成；
钦宗说：我想回家； 金兀朱说：没门……
赵构说：把姓岳的抓了； 岳飞说：我有何罪？ 秦桧说：也许有…… ；
陆游说：我要死了； 文天祥说：死得好，我为你喝彩！
完颜说：金大； 耶律说：辽大； 成吉思汗说：大你个球！
忽必烈说：亚欧大陆我说了算……
朱元璋说：高筑墙； 建文帝说：孙承祖业； 朱棣说：我找我爹；
严嵩说：清史留字； 崇祯说：袁崇焕，你的良心大大地坏了……
李自成说：歇会，找个小姐来； 吴三桂说：敢泡我老婆；
皇太极说：三桂是个好同志。；顺治说：爱江山更爱美人；
康熙说：江山好管儿子难教； 雍正说：说我狠，我就狠给你们看；
乾隆说：我爹是谁； 嘉庆说：和坤是我爹留给我的遗产……
施耐庵说：天罡盖地煞； 罗贯中说：曹刘震河腰；
吴承恩说：全盘西化； 曹雪芹说：读书人的事能算淫么；
蒲松龄说：我是另类我怕谁？
林则徐说：我销； 洪秀全说：我反； 康有为说：我变； 孙中山说：看我的。
慈禧说：木偶戏你当好演呀； 李连英说：有奴才伺候；
李鸿章说：九亿白银，小意思； 袁世凯说：窃国者为诸候？
蒋介石说：共党未灭何以家为毛泽东说：中华人民共和国，中央人民政府，成立了
Gimme the top tea leaves... Gimme the top tea leaves...
To the top. For the best. To the top, for the best.
Labels: 真的是无聊到~
说真的，应该很难会有和我“对号入座”的人吧！（除了思敏之外）对号入座 - SHE
把旧歌翻出来咯。
好好笑的舞蹈！看了又想学又想笑。减压！减压！呵呵呵呵~
太阳太大你就省略午餐 清清爽爽
月亮太美我就移民阳台 星星闪闪
开始你还怀疑过我 会不会我抄袭你太多
你脑袋还想的念头 我已经就在这么做
你的想法我都ok 还不够 更爱陪你去做
我的心思你都ok 不用说 甚至对号入座
wu~~~~最完美的互动
水剩半杯你说还有一半 乐观 开朗
遭遇失败我说多学是一样 开朗 坚强
开始我还怀疑过你 是不是偷偷占星 算命
我脑袋正在想的 旋律 你已经放在车上听
你的想法我都ok 还不够 更爱陪你去做
我的心思你都ok 不用说 甚至对号入座
wu~~~~最完美的互动
Labels: 真的是无聊到~你是哪一位童话公主？唔。我没有善良的心，没有雪白的皮肤，没有恶毒的后母，没有中了永远都睡不醒的诅咒。我反而是在王子的母亲前先出丑，整身落汤鸡出现在人家皇宫门前。睡了人家的床还complain一大堆的spoiled princess。呵呵呵。
Labels: 真的是无聊到~淑仪の脳内
100% 正确。头脑里只有金（金钱）、友（朋友，没有他们我会死。家人也算是朋友。爱人请靠边站，因为可有可无。）、嘘（谎言）和游（爱玩人的意思）。
前世的我还真会享受 -_-''头脑有够简单。
Labels: 真的是无聊到~The Impossible Quiz 
Labels: 真的是无聊到~嘿！我是第三名耶！\(^_^)/
真没想到我全家竟然在前五名以内~都是无情的使者！~ (-_-)'' 无情12星座的排名 第一位：天蝎座 无论做任何事，天蝎座总是斩钉截铁，毫无余地，好象分手这回事，何尝不是？不要妄想当日恋爱时如何如胶似漆，分手后仍可做番半点朋友，对不起，天蝎反脸后真的可以不认人，而且速度如火箭，可令对方心痛欲绝。 第二位：白羊座 热血和冷血只是一刹之间。面对热情如火的白羊，别以为他分手时也会这样热辣辣，你有本事可在睡床一起身，然后发现正在拍拖的他不适合你时，便实时挥一挥衣袖，不带走一点浪漫，铁石心肠，白羊真可谓数一数二。 第三位：水瓶座 一声说走便行李也不带走的水瓶，对爱情的态度依然贯彻始终，不要期望你会心软回心转意，也不要奢望你会因软功而已令心肠变暖，基本上，朋友和情人之间的层次太过模糊，加上太过理智，与其拖拖拉拉，倒不如一刀两断可能更感痛快。 第四位：狮子座 都是自尊惹的祸。无情这回事有时也要看是谁先提出，若然眼前的感情不是由狮子一方宣布死亡的话，我可以告诉大家，无论另一方如何想再重拾旧欢，结局都是于事无补，毕竟伤及了你的尊严，一刀两可能是你唯一的面对方法。 第五位：金牛座 对于一向务实的金牛人而言，既然真的决定要分手的话，你们面对的态度，就会像公事公办一样，不带半分人情可言。你们会以资料、理论及各种不同的思考模式，计算过程中的得与失，生性悭家的或许会留下一些对象自用，但主角嘛，请尽快离开视线范围。 第六位：山羊座 或许不是你冷酷，而是你真的不懂得如何表达他心目中的情感所累事。在你们的字典中，一不情人，一不敌人，就像插苏头和插头的关系，一不插着，一不拿开，没有灰色地带似的，但说到尾，你们复原的时间，其实比其它星座情人还要长。有情和无情，可能就只是一线之差。 第七位： 双子座 要数再见仍是朋友一族，首选必定是双子。对于爱一大班朋友与众同乐的双子来说，朋友和粒花之间最大的分别，可能只是有没有床上活动而矣。此外你更会觉得由粒花转化做朋友的异性，不但较容易明白你的需要，有时候还可继续撒娇呢！ 第八位：处女座 有些星座其实无情，但分手的过程之中，总要循例的拖拉一轮，当中的表表者可算是处女人。不要以为处女人的小心眼病态会咬着对方不放，只要决定跟对方划清界线，你便会使出一招将对方视为陌生人看待，演技足以问鼎最佳女主角。 第九位：巨蟹座 无论遇到甚么情况，最懂扮作看不见的巨蟹，怕只怕太过多情而不是反面无情。只要对方给你一点甜头，你又会乖乖的回到自己巢穴内继续生活。所以对于「无情」这回事，除非你很快已经有别个，否则相信分手时，你也必须煎熬一段日子才肯甘休。 第十位：双鱼座 与巨蟹座相比，双鱼座情况更加戏剧化，即是说，无论分手是否已成事实，又或你是否已另有所属，你与本来的那个，依然可以继续成为秘密情侣，爱个难舍难离。对于爱情这回事，怕只怕你太过滥情而不自知，请小心健康。 第十一位：人马座 永远捉不紧的人马，不是无情，而是无时间再跟你磋跎岁月，浪费青春。在恋爱时，要令人马的粒花在你身旁守候，本来已是很困难的一回事，要他分手后再跟你吃个饭，相信更加难上加难。但做不成情侣，对于人马而言，做朋友未尝不是个好的另类选择！ 第十二位：天秤座 不要说无情，天秤人出名多情又爱吃回头草，要他无情，相信都只是反高潮的剧情需要才有此下着。面对生性犹豫不决的天秤人而言，就算口口声声说分手，通常也会散完再好好完再散散完又再好以后，最后不了了之收场，要他无情，难过登天。
AQUARIUS WOMAN Labels: 真的是无聊到~
If you are in love with a woman in this zodiac be prepared to be very happy or be very sorry. She is a very busy person with her own matters similar to a guy in this zodiac. She is able to live by herself without any guy in her life, a very strong person indeed.
Not because she does not have a dream guy, but if she can not find such person, so what. Because she thinks she could do anything that a man can do. She is a leader , a real confident type.
She likes to do things by herself, such as serving herself, opening the door herself. Because she thinks waiting for a helping hand is a waste of time, and she is not patient enough to wait around for that. If she starts to ask you out, do not think she starts to flirt with you, but because she thinks it is a waste of time to wait for you to be the one who asked.
She likes a COOL guy who sometimes act like he is ignoring her, so he has a chance to show him his own confidence. She like to guess her man's reaction, but at the same time she likes to has many men wanting her. She is a daring type who could just do thing differently from other people in her same society. She dare to fight for what she thinks belonged to her.
Even she acts confident she mostly feel lonely and alone. If she breaks up with someone , she won't show any emotion even deep down inside pain and agony. Not for long she will come back to be the cheery and merry person again, because she looks at the world positively and has "Faith" in the word "Love".
She has more men friends than women friends, so do not be a jealous type if you date her. She could be slightly jealous, but she hates jealous guy. She loves "Freedom" so before and after marriage , her freedom has to be the same. She likes you to trust her, even if she does not trust you anyhow.
She likes to be the one who is "Right", so if you argue with her , let her win if it is not a big deal for you in that subject. She is a straight forward type, so if she does not love you anymore, she will just tell you straight to your face. Her love and relationship are always real, so if she say "It's over" be prepare to leave, she is not testing you.
She is not a vulnerable type, so do not have to worry about her, she will survive by herself. If she is with you when you get sick, she will certainly take care and look after you, even look after you mean "small loan". Do not have secret with her, she hates it and really can piss her badly. When she is sad , be understanding. When she is happy, be happy with her, she likes that.
You will not get bored with this type of girl. Someone who is close to her will know that deep down beneath that confident and cold hearted person, she is just as fragile as any woman. She is a fun and talkative person and she likes to tease you. Do not let she talk alone, if you do she will leave.
She has many type of jobs because she beliefs what a man can do, I can do. If you want her to work for you, forget it. When she is in love, she will just leave her job in the day time just to come to see you, but not for long she will go back to work seriously again. Prepare to live and love with a "Working Woman" then you will be OK.
If she is mad, find a shelter for the "Hurricane" is here! Her bad temper will last very shortly though. She is not a revenge type and will not think of "pay Back" time. Most people might think of her as "One of a guy", but in fact she is a 100% woman. She is easily hurt, so be nice with her. If she really loves you, then you are lucky because she is an honest, truthful and will never bored you. Understand that sometimes she will be over confident and sometimes like to have power or act bossy.
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ABOUTS
Shuyi
sushi* sclera* teddy* wisetg*
gluttony* laogong*(to wy and st)
Aquarian 1st Feb
Tarot and Astrology*
Geography* Nature*
Literature* Fanfiction*
Mayday* Orange Range*
The Brilliant Green*
Pop* Rock* R&B*
DAR`LINKS
serene
huifang
yanxing
caiping
chuan
yohfng
weeling
kenneth
minghui
li juan
siqi
hanwei
yuzhu
xiumin
sabrina
LINKS
柯思仁 老师 QUAH SY REN | 獨 A 在 Stranger 家鄉 at 為 Home 異客
黄凯德 老师 WONG KOI TET | tH/eeXQu/iSi/TecOr/pSe
陈子谦 ROYSTON TAN | ROYSTON TAN
李欣赏 我报摄影记者 AH BOB | ah bob the jiuhukia
五月天官方网站 MAYDAY OFFICIAL SITE | iMayday
TALKING COCK | Singapore's Premier Satirical Humour Website
AQUARIAN DIGEST | Astrology articles for Aquarians
AECLECTIC TAROT | Tarot Cards/Reviews/Readings/Community
CANDY PAN | Simin's Inspiration: Handmade Cards
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