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Thursday, November 22, 2007 2:05 PM

TALKINGCOCK

Ah Beng's Job Interview (Contributed by Wyman Lye)

Ah Beng went for an job interview for a sales job. When the manager saw Ah Beng's colourful attire, his mind screamed, "Not this man!!"Nevertheless he still had to entertain Ah Beng. So he told Ah Beng, "If you can form a sentence using the words I give you, then I will give you a chance!""The words are "Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, Black".

Ah Beng thought for a while and said "I heard the phone go green, green, and then I went to pink up the phone and said Yellow. Blue's that? White did you say? Aiyah, wrong number. Don't purplely disturb people and don't call Black, ok?"

Ah Beng got the job.

Now I see the big picture (Contributed by Have Cock Will Travel)

Ah Lian (L) called Ah Beng (B) over the telephone.

L: " Beng, I can't get my new jig saw puzzle fixed, mah-chiam all the edges cannot fix together, leh."

B: " Jig saw puzzle si mi picture, ha?"

L: " The box show a big rooster, kanna like the one in talkingcock.com ".
B: "Okay, lah, okay, lah. I come over to hepchu, lah."

Ah Beng arrives at Ah Lian's place, where she happily leads him to the kitchen table where the jigsaw puzzle is.

Ah Beng examines the puzzle and says, " Kan ni na, put back the corn flakes into the box, lah."

Totally Defenceless

Two Hokkien pengs, Ah Beng and Ah Seng, got promoted from privates to corporals.

Not long after, they're out for a walk and Ah Beng says, "Eh, Seng ah, there's the NCO Club. Let's go inside and togo."

"But we all is plivate only, mah," protests Ah Seng.

"No, we all is copler now," says Ah Beng, pulling him inside. Once inside the pub, Ah Beng says, "Okay, let's order some beer and togo!"

"But we all is plivate!" says Ah Seng."Piang eh, you cannot see, meh?" says Ah Beng, pointing to his stripes. "We all is copler now!"

After leaving the NCO club, Ah Beng and Ah Seng go to Geylang.

There, Ah Beng whistles at a hooker, but the hooker says, "Sorry, hor. Tonight cannot because I got gonorrhea."

Ah Beng pulls Ah Seng to the side and say, "Eh, you go and check the dictionary and see what 'gonorrhea' means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign.

"Ah Seng goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Ah Beng a big thumbs-up.Three weeks later, Ah Beng is in the hospital with a severe case of gonorrhea.

"Ni na beh," he scolds Ah Seng. "Why you tell me it's okay?"

"Not my fault!" says Ah Seng. "In the dictionary, it says gonorrhea affects the privates."Then he points to his stripes: "But we is copler now, mah!"

Can Die (Contributed by Setzer)

There was this case in a hospital's intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and always on Friday mornings, regardless of their medical conditions. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had to do with the supernatural.

So the doctors decided to go down to that particular ward to investigate the cause. Come Friday morning, everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the terrible phenomenon to occur again. Some held wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil.... As the time approached, their hearts began beating anxiously, and with every beat of the clock, everyone held their breath........ ....

Then Ah Soh, the part-time Friday cleaner, came into the room and unplugged the life support system so that she could use the vacuum cleaner.

DOTX MAN, can really die sia!~

Although read b4 long time ago, itx still hao xiao!

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